Episode 77 - Head and Heart Hunger
We all have triggers, habits and emotional connections with food. When we are "hungry" but not really physically hungry we know it as head hunger, heart hunger or, which covers both, emotional hunger.
In this episode I talk about disassembling triggers and habits and give you examples of my own efforts that I have shared with you in past episodes. I have found that they speak to many of you so share them again here.
It is important to understand Triggers, Habits and Emotional Connections so that you can work on disassembling them all. It starts with understanding what they are.
Get all my free guides
Take a look at three great new courses
Join me on Facebook
Follow me on Instagram
Check out Pinterest
And don't forget my book!
Episode 77 - Head and Heart Hunger
We all have triggers, habits and emotional connections with food. When we are "hungry" but not really physically hungry we know it as head hunger, heart hunger or, which covers both, emotional hunger.
In this episode I talk about disassembling triggers and habits and give you examples of my own efforts that I have shared with you in past episodes. I have found that they speak to many of you so share them again here.
It is important to understand Triggers, Habits and Emotional Connections so that you can work on disassembling them all. It starts with understanding what they are.
Get all my free guides
Take a look at three great new courses
Join me on Facebook
Follow me on Instagram
Check out Pinterest
And don't forget my book!
Episode #: 77. Head and Heart Hunger
You’re Listening to the Keto and Low Carb Success podcast, Episode #77, Head and Heart Hunger.
Introduction
Did you know that you don't have to spend money on a diet program or weigh, measure and track your food? What if you could learn to have success by following an easy roadmap that takes you on adventures from learning how to change your mindset so that you can believe in yourself, to learning about what foods work best in your body and why? Join me, Miriam Hatoum, health coach, course creator and author of Conquer Cravings with Keto, as I give you actionable coaching advice that is sure to empower you so that you will finally find peace with food and learn to trust your body’s signals. You’ve got this, girl!
Be sure to go to miriamhatoum.com/resources to get all the free guides to help you along the way. I am in your shoes, my friends, and I wrote these guides for both of us. The link is in the show notes and transcripts.
Oh, and before we start, I want to let you know that the primary purpose of this podcast and the course is to educate and does not constitute medical advice or service, and I’m keeping up with the science as fast as I can so I can share with you the latest breaking research in this area to help you achieve your dreams!
--------
We all have triggers, habits and emotional connections with food. When we are "hungry" but not really physically hungry we know it as head hunger, heart hunger or, which covers both, emotional hunger.
In this episode I talk about disassembling triggers and habits and give you examples of my own efforts that I have shared with you in past episodes. I have found that they speak to many of you so share them again here.
It is important to understand Triggers, Habits and Emotional Connections so that you can work on disassembling them all. It starts with understanding what they are.
Triggers
A trigger could be a food itself. A trigger food is a specific food that sets off a course of. overeating where control is lost. The most common trigger foods are calorie-dense, highly palatable foods that are often combinations of sugar and fat (e.g. ice cream, cookies) or fat and salt (e.g. nuts, potato chips, French fries).
A trigger could be a behavior. It could be something as "innocent" as walking past the bakery, catching a whiff of freshly baked bread and wanting to have it whether we are hungry or not. In this case, the food itself was the trigger – in that you smelled the bread so wanted it. But the trigger can also be the behavior of walking through or by a bakery.
A trigger could involve deeper layers, such as always wanting to eat after a phone call or an argument with someone.
Here was my example of disassembling a trigger:
Habits
Habits can also be along the same spectrum such as always having popcorn at the movies or wanting to avoid a dreaded activity and you have the habit of eating so that it sidetracks you.
Remember, habits are not always consciously motivated.
You might be in the habit of always stopping in for fast food along a certain route. Is it a habit or is seeing the golden arches a trigger? You might still be responsive to the trigger of seeing the golden arches so you pull in, but you can order a diet soda or coffee instead of a whole meal. So, you have sort of broken the "usual" habit while still responding to the trigger.
A habit that I recently disassembled is nighttime eating.
What about emotional connections to food?
You might have a simple emotional connection to a specific food.
You might have a deeper emotional connection to food.
The connection might even be deeper.
So, anything can be on this spectrum, from the innocent "smell bread, want bread" trigger to the not so innocent "food is the only thing I can count on."
I am not here to dissect what is going on with that, and always encourage my clients and students to seek more professional help than what I am qualified to give them.
But, it is important to know that once you have made these associations for years, you forge neural pathways in your brain. I stress with my clients over and over again, they are not broken. In fact, everything is working brilliantly. (Please see the bonus guide for this episode, "The Brilliance of Chocolate Cake" to learn more of about this.)
How can YOU disassemble a trigger?
Do this instead:
Do this tiny-step method whenever you realize you are reaching for food in response to something that has happened to you and not because you are hungry.
How can YOU disassemble a habit?
Disassembling a habit works much the same way. Let's go back to the golden arches example.
How can you disassemble a connection?
Disassembling a connection may be a little harder than disassembling triggers and habits.
Sometimes journaling will do that for you but then you might need professional help to face the core issues and to help you dig at, and expose those roots. (Please visit my blog on Emotional Eaters, where you will see reference to therapy. The link is in the show notes and transcript.)
Just as with triggers and habits, connections can be on a spectrum as well. Some issues may require professional help, but sometimes it is just a "lightbulb moment."
An example might be:
I know that is an oversimplification, but not everything is deep and dark and shrouded in sadness and abuse.
Sometimes it is just that a certain food might soothe you and once you are aware of it you can work to break that connection.
Autobiography in Five Chapters by Portia Nelson
I think this might be the single most important thing that you will ever read that will help you see my point about how to disassemble triggers and habits. I would even suggest that you print this out and put it in a frame in your kitchen.
I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk I fall in.
I am lost... I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in...it's a habit
My eyes are open; I know where I am; It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
V
I walk down another street.
What mistakes do we make and why?
· The biggest mistake that we make is not learning about, and acknowledging, our physical hunger. If you do not know what physical hunger feels like in your body, how will you know if the hunger is not physical?
· Another mistake is that we tend to be reactionary. This could mean something as simple as “See cookie, want cookie, eat cookie.” Oftentimes it is no more than that, but we don’t realize the impulse there. We don’t parse it out and take the time to ask ourselves, first, do we really want the cookie (okay we want it but is it just a reaction to seeing it?). Second, are we even physically hungry?
· Sometimes the reaction is deeper – we run to food for distraction. Are we lonely and don’t want to think about it? Are we tired and don’t want to rest? Are we angry and don’t want to process that? Are bored and want to do something? Whatever the reason we are running to the food, it is all in our heads and our hearts. Go back to Episode 19, and other episodes where I talk about mindfulness, and see how to put a pause between the reaching for the food and the eating of the food. If you have not gone beyond just thinking about the food, put the pause there.
The cost of not putting in a pause.
· The cost of not putting in that pause is that you will never give yourself the opportunity to break the cycle of your head hunger, heart hunger and habit hunger. Honestly, if you could just do that, it would eliminate so much overeating and you would automatically start to release your extra weight without being on the search for the latest and greatest diet program promises.
· The cost of not putting in that pause means that you will never find peace with food, which is what I think most of us want. Not even weight loss and not even better health. We just want peace.
Here is the NEW way to handle triggers, habits, urges, cravings and emotional connections.
· The very first thing I want you to do is to not berate yourself the next time this happens. It is normal. It is to be expected. The cravings and urges will hardly ever disappear. The triggers will always be there. Connections, habits and triggers will always be with you in your heart and your head.
· The moment you notice any head, habit or heart hunger, STOP – even mid-bite, even as your hand is going into the chip bag for the third time. Say to yourself, “Oh.” Take a breath, put the food down if you are holding it, and say, “Good job. I noticed it.”
· Awareness is the VERY first step. If you catch yourself before you have started eating, set a timer for even just 5 minutes. Breathe. Walk away from the food situation if you can.
· If the pull is too strong or the food is already gone, I want to you to say, “Good job. I noticed it.”
· That’s all. Take away the berating, the self-hate, the chiding or the despair. It’s only food, my friend.
· I have a picture of myself from over 30 years ago when my life was overwhelming – not necessarily sad – but it was a time in my life when my selfcare was at a minimum and I was frantically trying to diet but instead was gaining weight. I keep that picture on my bureau. I look at it often and say, “Miriam, thank you. It could have been drugs or alcohol or abusing my children. It was only food. Thank you. I love you.”
THIS WEEK’S ACTIONABLE COACHING ADVICE
· Download the Brilliance of Chocolate Cake booklet. The link is at miriamhatoum.com/resources.
· Do the “Why I Want Sugar” worksheet.
· Reflect on your answers to these questions:
· What are three things you have noticed for yourself about the physical pull of foods with sugar?
· What are some of your habits paired with eating when you are not hungry, sweets in particular?
· What are three things you have noticed about yourself when you turn to food as an emotional component?
· Read through the rest of the booklet very carefully, and if you keep a journal, write about how you are not stuck, and that you just have not yet broken the cycle of the feel-good chemicals in your brain.
· Go to the transcript and read (or listen again) to Autobiography in Five Chapters by Portia Nelson. Journal (or think) about what lesson you can take from this in your own life.
Next week’s episode
Next week I will explore urges and cravings. By now, I am sure most of you have heard my PEEPS story, but if you haven’t, be sure not to skip ahead those first 30 seconds! It sets the stage for explaining the difference between urges and cravings! And remember that plate of Weight Watcher’s liver and onions I talked about in the finding satisfaction episode? Well I do like chopped liver, so there’s a story about that too! As a matter of fact, there is a recipe for it at miriamhatoum.com/blog!
If you are enjoying this podcast, I do have a favor to ask of you. Please subscribe to this podcast and leave a review wherever you listen to your podcast. It helps other people find it by bringing it up in the various directories. Also, don’t be a stranger. Like or join my Facebook page, Breaking Free From Diet Prison, and let me know if there is anything you would like to hear on the show, and let me know you are a podcast listener.
Please share the podcast with your friends, let them know we on an Intuitive Eating journey, and invite them to tune in with you and learn how to become free from diet prison.
Until then, go live free from diet worry — I’ll see you back here next time.
Get all my free guides
Take a look at this great course
Join me on Facebook
Follow me on Instagram
Check out Pinterest
And don't forget my book!